Wednesday 10 February 2010

Blocked.

Once again I'm writing a different blog to the one I planned. This is because of what happened to me last night. This blog contains what my Gran used to call "language" but I will censor it.

As I think you all know, I'm on twitter. In fact I'll goes as far as to say if you're not following me on twitter you won't be reading this. So you all know what it's about. Well, last night I blocked someone for the first time and I don't know how I feel about it.

I follow people, as I think we all do, who we find interesting and have things to tell us and these might be celebrities who might, on occasion, reply to a tweet or be friends who we chat to at length. One of the ways I met lots of good friends is at #frys as I think most of you know, and if you don't, call in soon. I'm one of the bartenders there and because of this it can get confusing sometimes who I'm following and who is just a regular (I'm bear of little brain). This is why I've ended up following just one or two people who are OK but not really on my wavelength (Not you, you're lovely!)

The person I blocked last night had said some things to me before but then put lots of :) after it. Thought it was rude but I know late at night how you can say something as a joke and it be misinterpreted, it's happen to me. But I hope, no I know, I've never been offensive.

Last night after another lovely impromptu party at #frys to celebrate the announcement of FrysgigNYC (get your tickets soon) it was a late night for me, around one thirty in the am and I had had, as those who know me won't be surprised to hear, a couple of glasses of wine. I was having a pleasant chat to a good friend when one of my comments about how it would be good if we could met in real life, a thought I think many of us might have had, was retweeted with the additional line TW*TS ANONYMOUS! (This is from memory because as I've blocked this person I can no longer see the offending tweets myself).

Now this shook me in a couple of ways. We all know, but sometimes forget, that if people are following us they can listen to our conversation, especially if we are including a hash tag such as #frys and it's great when other people join in. Some people even apologise for butting in, but if it was private we would direct message each other. There is a way of behaving online and on twitter as there is in life, I think, and that's with respect to each other. If I was chatting to a friend in a "real" pub and someone came up to me and shouted "TW*T" at me I think I have the right to be offended. I was in this case too and I after a lot of thought I replied (again from memory) "Hardly anonymous and f*** off!", I censored myself at the time too. Which is how I think I would reply in real life as well.

This person then started to fire off a volley of tweets to me which I'm afraid I can't remember but they seemed to me at the time to be equally unpleasant and so I blocked and walked away. Maybe in the cold light of day they would not seem so bad, I don't know but I really think there is no excuse for this behaviour. Some have said drink may have been involved and that's why he said what he said. Well, drink was definitely was involved at my end and often is but I don't think that is a valid excuse, but maybe I'm wrong.

This has upset me more than it should. Didn't like blocking, it seemed a betrayal of why I joined twitter. I haven't named the person as I'm sure they would love the infamy but if you need to know DM me.

Did I over react? I'm not sure myself. But I think life's too short to waste time on people you don't like. Please let me know what you think.

10 comments:

Uli said...

oh, this happened, I´m sure, more then once to people who use medias like Twitter, FB, Messenger and what else not. The randomness and easy way of hiding behind an avatar and an username makes it so much more attractive to people who like to annoy other. I never understood it myself, what the fun in destroying conversations with nonsense really is, but there must be some, apparently.
I think you didn´t over reacted at all, you did the most reasonable thing to do - you turned away. Those people will appear here and there and there´s nothing else to do then block them (and ThankTwitter for that little button!)

Anonymous said...

I read what went on and I don't think you were overreacting. I don't think it was a joke going to far. When I read the first time this person did a similar thing, I actually thought it was a joke. Now, when more have been the target, I'm sure it's not.

I've had similar experiences, not with the same person though. And I also felt bad about blocking.

What's worse I think is when I see ppl I like still having fun with the blocked one.

Anyway, good writing as always:)

Russell Willis said...

Phil,

I empathise with the situation.
It is never nice to be in such a situation, let alone feel the need to block!

I have seen the twitter stream in question (the fact that my first guess to the individual proved correct, I guess, says plenty)!

I have witnessed bizarre tweets from this tweep, previously and been unsure of exactly how to take them!
On this occasion I think that the personally offensive nature of the tweets was offensive, however, jolly the motive behind them may have been!
Perhaps this tweep simply got a little over excited and in the cold light of day, may view the tweets in this fashion?

I suspect that this may happen again, given the potentially enormous numbers of tweeps we have the opportunity to cross paths with?!

However, I believe ALL tweeps should observe simple etiquette.
We can not expect every tweep and every twitter forum, to appeal to all!
If there is a tweep or a forum, that one does not enjoy, simply do not follow or participate! There are NO obligatory forums anywhere on twitter.
SIMPLE!!

No tweep should knowingly be offensive! If offending due to miscommunication occurs, it should be put straight ASAP.

Any tweep who is unable to follow simple etiquette, such as this, is not worth interacting with!

It is a sorry state, but we can not guarantee it will not happen!

Keep the chin up and try to maintain your reasonable and polite dialogue, with the tweeps who are worth the effort!

Written this in haste, so apologies for spelling errors!

Derry said...

Wasn't aware you'd been subjected to such unwarranted abuse, mate! Must have been after I decided to leave Twitter for the night.
That's just a totally uncalled for attack from someone who is turning out to be a typical tiresome troll.
Apart from blocking, I think Twitter ought to be informed, I'm sure they have a policy to deal with that kind of abusive behviour.

Good post, Phil. Pity the circumstances arose for you to have to write it.

Kenatfrys said...

The person is obviously a shower, and absolute shower! Every sympathy old chap.

travelmaus said...

Before cutting out last night, I read some of the tweets and was totally appalled. You don't need to have peeps talk to you like that and blocking is perfectly acceptable in this case. As a matter of fact , I've blocked for less. (I also don't let anyone associated with porn to follow me either. Instant block )
I've had my own run-in with this tweep and received an apology and thought it was a "one-off". Obviously I was wrong. We were all playing nicely last night until this happened to you , so there is something very wrong.
Having said all of this, the tweep is not worth getting upset over as they don't seem to be upset over hurting others. I'm so sorry this happened to you.

Anonymous said...
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Gat said...

Having read through the tweets in question I believe you did exactly the right thing. The guy was both rude and offensive for no reason and I think you ended the conversation at the right time. You were also right to block the person in question.
Twitter should be an enjoyable experience where people should not have to feel they are always on the lookout for others who have an 'undesirable' nature, and after all, that's what the 'Block User' button is for and this guy deserved nothing less. Moreover, you should not feel bad about blocking him; you should be proud that you stopped him and also that you have bought this to the attention of other users. No-one likes people being rude to them, especially for no reason, and you have facilitated the means by which your readers can prevent this idiot from causing them distress as well.
Good post - and thank you!
Cheers,
Graham.

@veraclaythorne said...

Sorry I'm so late in commenting, but apparently I can't at work!

I think, firstly, that your post here is excellent. It's well-stated and eloquent, and I think it needed to be done.

Next, I believe you handled yourself well. This person has offended quite a few of us, and while passing it over as a strange sense of humor worked for a bit, I have no idea where one is supposed to find some of the tweets you got last night remotely funny in any capacity. Completely uncalled for, and anyone who knows you on Twitter knows how you've never been anything but good and kind.

I know exactly what you are dealing with, and it's strange to feel bad about it, I know. Please try to not let it get to you too much, because in the end, it's not remotely worth your time and energy - and I am speaking from experience! xx

Anonymous said...

As Gertrude Jekyll, the famous British gardener, used to say, don't cry over one plant. If you have a big, beautiful garden of twitter friends & one of them disappoints you or is too negative for your tastes, let them wither & move on to concentrate on the ones that are full of life & sunshine. As the young people say, "It's just twitter." ;D